In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ…In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1
It’s been a few weeks since I said goodbye to my friend. I sucked in all the grief to hide it away and I squeezed her hand and whispered,
“Listen to me Sarah- I love you and we will love your kids… we will teach them about Jesus, we will tell them about you everyday my friend: your faith- your passion- your spunk- your love for them. We got this. You can go and and you don’t have to feel afraid.”
That was real- a few weeks ago, my best friend was dying- brain surgery and strokes and the doctors believed she may not make it through the day.
But she did make it and yesterday I visited Sarah in the rehab facility in Houston… a place holding an inordinate amount of our hopes… this is the place where she will begin to heal. This is the place that will try to teach her to speak again, to walk again.
But not today. Today she wobbles a little as she holds herself up, today she’s learning to swallow, today she offers a small peaceful glorious smile as I tell her stories about her kids.
And with each milestone, our little sisterhood goes crazy….
Hearts explode with every piece of life God gives back! Because you see, she was about to die and now she is alive.
Healing, they say, will take time. “How much time?” we are all quick to ask.
But not Sarah… she seems peaceful and patient and at ease with her body that doesn’t work.
We’re learning it. Somewhere in between tasting death and learning to swallow- Sarah found a peace that is worthy of our envy. Let me be clear- she is in there- smiling at inside jokes and even nodding a little to answer questions. She gets it. She just isn’t fighting it.
See we get one life. One. And whatever God’s story for us is- do we want it? Or are we fighting it? I’m tired of striving and pretending to control.
I’m learning to receive my life.
What are you fighting? What are you trying to control? What would it look like to quit?