Behind the Scenes of my Life
Behind the scenes of the news in our lives I have been getting some interesting questions... I would like to answer a few of them.
Isn't adoption just the new fashionable thing to do right now?
I have to pause for a minute and first find humor in the fact that some think I am about to spend sleepless nights, go back to diapers, spend hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of his little life, and emotionally commit to another child, all in the name of a cute little retro African fashion on my hip. :)
However, it has come up multiple times so now let me seriously address it. More people in mainstream America are adopting, true. Angelina and Brad have been part of making that a more visible option in our culture. But at the end of the day we live in a generation that can not ignore what we know- we know more than any other generations- we see it. The tv, internet and the reality that while we have 2 cars, extra bedrooms and constantly worry about eating too much- children are dying on streets alone. And I am privileged to have the ability to do something about it for one.
And that is not trendy.... it is contagious.
So why not adopt from right here- there are kids in Austin that need a home?
One of my sweet friends here works at the children's home in town and the problem is clear to me- there are a lot of unwanted and abused children down the street. Thankfully many people in our church are feeling called to foster and foster to adopt from down the street and I will get to see first hand, some of these kids plucked from obscurity into the most loving of homes.
But it was simple for us, God said our son is in Africa. We never dreamed it for ourselves but He lead us to a specific country and a specific orphanage. I believe no matter where you care for orphans there is a need. Some of the things that have given us a passion to help in Rwanda:
Rwanda has one of the world's largest proportions of child-headed households, with an estimated 101,000 children living in 42,000 such households.
More than 400,000 children are out of school.
Rwanda has one of the world's worst child mortality rates - 1 in 5 Rwandan children dies before his or her fifth birthday.
The other reasons we get excited about Rwanda is our other 3 children. They all constantly pray for suffering people around the planet. That is new. They have never left the country and yet they now have global hearts and as they grow up with a brother from Africa- they will always have a reminder in our home of the insanity of our blessings and the unimaginable suffering of others and hopefully they will live lives that will impact that.
So you finally have a job? (This is from my 8 year old daughter)
Ha! As if I have been sitting around the house twiddling thumbs! I do have a job now. I have deadlines and work even though I have not been published yet. My life needs to change and it is difficult for me. It is difficult to say no to time with people and choose to go into a hole and work, but this is what God has said for me to do right now. So for those that know me here- know that I would rather be at coffee with you but I have to have a season of solitude to do what I believe God is asking me to do.
Are you going to be famous?
That has been said to me more than once since people have heard I now have an agent and will likely be publishing soon. Knowing the writing world, it is a funny question because writers live such obscure lives. If you get an agent it is a miracle. Then if the agent gets you published it is a miracle and then if I can finish books on deadline it is a miracle and if God can inspire the words it is a miracle, and then if the books sell copies it is a miracle and then if anyone would ever know my name and want to buy more it would be a miracle.
That being said, my God is good at miracles. And I know He is calling me to this and I trust that He will use it in some lives. And maybe to those few people I will be famous. :) So it is a little premature to predict fame (likely no fame)- but fame or obscurity to the glory of God. I want His glory and however He sees fit to use me- I am His.
And then the most personal question for me...
How are you going to do all of this... adopt, be a pastor's wife, write and speak, manage your kids lives, be a good friend, and on and on?
I don't know. I tear up as I write this, because God knows I have told Him- Do your will- I don't care about any of it, unless you want me to do it. And He has overwhelmingly spoken to me about adoption and writing and teaching- YES! But I am just me.
I am not fancy and able. At the end of the day I am just me. And I worry like everyone close to me right now about my family and all of this He is calling me to do.
Now the God of peace, who raised up from the dead the great Shepherd of the sheep through the blood of the eternal covenant, even Jesus our Lord, equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen(Hebrews 13:20, 21)
This is my prayer and I trust He is faithful ,and I trust He will daily provide what I need, and I trust He will help me not to write run-on sentences and I trust that He loves my kids more than I do and would never ask me to do things, even for Him, that would be to their detriment- if I can remain close to Him and listen and obey.