In light of my earlier comments on full disclosure, I will share some more of the recent convolutedness... meet Kulo. I first saw Kulo on the video posted here from a ministry called Drawn from Water (DfW). I saw him and my heart melted... I would watch the video over and over again to catch the one second that his little face would appear. He was the face that gave our family the vision to adopt a three year old boy, rather than a newborn. Of course I asked if he could be adopted... the journey of these children is so complicated. They were to be sacrificed by their families and tribe because they are considered cursed but were rescued. When I contacted them months ago they said, "no." So we have moved our focus toward Rwanda for reasons I will share later.
But I kept thinking about Kulo. His sneaky smiley little face just seemed to "fit" in the Allen clan. I was driving last week and looked back at my three little people and pictured Kulo in one of those seats- I just wanted him... he just fits! Not thirty minutes after that thought I got a call from a friend who excitedly told me the "Drawn from water" kids are going to be up for adoption- I was standing in the gym and just busted out in tears. I went home and emailed DfW- knowing that it was highly unlikely. But over the course of two days our entire family fell for Kulo. My 7 year old would pray for him and tell me, " Mommy, I know we may not get Kulo but until God tells me to stop- I am going to pray we will." My 4 year old saw his picture and said, "Mommy- I want to get him!" And she has been the reluctant one of our family.
Of course in talking with the DfW people it is so unlikely that Kulo will ever be ours- but I am so thankful for him. For me... with all my doubts and fears... he helped me to see past them into the eyes of a little boy. A little boy that we loved, that if they would have let me, I would have swam an ocean to "get him."
We are close to starting the process... praying for a little guy that fits!