Living Humble & Bold
Right before the first IF:Gathering (about three years ago), I was terrified. IF had blown up and was reaching women all over the world, and I had no idea what it was going to be like or how it was going to turn out. I felt disconnected from God, my soul, and my friends.
I decided to get away right around New Year’s. I remember doubting God so much at the time and feeling so cynical. I told Him on the way out of town, “I’m not going to feel anything from you, God. I’m not excited.”
I packed up a couple of books for that trip, and one of them was Ordering Your Private World by Gordon MacDonald. It started with a description of people who live called and people who live driven, and I knew all of sudden that it was describing my life.
I knew that I was a called person, but I also knew that somewhere along the way I had become a driven person. I was using God instead of worshiping Him. It seemed like God was doing something so big, and I felt like I needed to keep up.
The Daniel study we’ve done over on Facebook these past 4 Sundays has been some of the most fun I've had in ages. This is where I am my most full and happy: giving people the word of God and processing it with you. Not only did I get to do that in a room full of people that I love in Austin, I got to do that with y'all around the world.
Together, we went to these hard places. We laid it out on the table--our pride, our selfishness, our sin. What we’ve learned together is that the place of experiencing God begins often in our own conviction and humility.
A driven person lifts himself up. A humble person lifts up someone else. We must be small, so that God can be big. He is jealous, but He is merciful.
At the end of the day, we’re all going to bank our lives on something. I pick Jesus. I pick His word.
When I think back to that trip right before the first IF:Gathering, I can see myself sitting there, open to the first chapter of Ordering Your Private World. I didn’t know what was wrong with my soul. And that book diagnosed me. Our public world is not the way to define our relationship with God. Who we are is defined when no one is looking.
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It was good for me to realize that IF:Gathering could go really well or could be a disaster, yet it would not change the state of my soul.
The way we make God big and ourselves small and humble is to confess. Confess that we’re not okay, that we’ve messed this up, we’re trying to make this about us and not about Him.
Our bodies, lives, future and hopes are held together by God. I can’t imagine Him seeing his children--whom He saved--living arrogant, selfish lives. We have a chance to break from the pack by being humble and being bold.
It looks different to be bold about Him and what we believe. It looks different to worship God and not try to build a kingdom for ourselves. It looks different to pursue holiness rather than just authenticity. It looks different to care about our soul rather than our public face and social media. We worship God. We stay humble. We repent. And we get to know Him in those quiet places that no one can see.
If you missed the Daniel study, there’s still time to go back and watch the videos! You can download a workbook here and watch all the videos here. The videos will only be available until Monday, September 12th, so don’t wait too long to check them out.