Permission to be Broken
Cooper crawled into my bed to read with me before bedtime. He cuddled up to me and he was burning up. He had a fever... pretty high from the feel of him.
My heart started racing because this is my child who spent 3 and a half years in a third world orphanage- where he couldn't be comforted if he was sick. There were too many kids. So they learn to cope instead of ask for help. This is my child who doesn't know it is ok to say, "Mama, I don't feel good." So he could have felt badly all day and I just didn't know.
A child who is sick and doesn't tell you... it is messed up.
But we all do this. We all pretend we are ok- when we are not.
We are too distracted or afraid to be broken.
So we pretend we are ok.
So we miss grace.
Cooper hasn't really been sick in the year he has been a part of a family... so what he didn't know is we treat the sick/ broken like royalty around here... your own grocery run for jello and Gatorade and popsicles, cool rags, back tickles, the rest of us waiting on him hand and foot and stories and songs. He was missing all of it because he didn't come to me.
Grace is better and we miss it because we don't want to be broken.
But look at what God does for us when we run home broken:
“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate." Luke 15
Do not miss freedom because you don't know what it feels like to be free.