Tears are dry. Here I go.
Today two emails found my inbox within moments of each other. The first is that as of today, the first half of my soul is shipping to a store near you. Stuck study ships tonight. It will go out in cardboard boxes, uncontained and unsupervised. I can not control it or make sure you like it. I can not follow every piece of my soul to homes and churches and be sure they understand what I meant to say. My soul is left in people's hands uninterpreted, and they will do what they will with it.
So that started the tears.
Following that I got an email from someone reading my book. It is the other half of my soul shipping to a store near you in April. But it is finished and some people are already reading it.
That email started the hyper-ventilating, near panic attack.
I didn't know this would feel this hard. I thought I would celebrate on days like today. Instead I need someone to come to my house and make me get dressed and eat and help me pretend that my soul is not on sale for $26.99 on Amazon special and that after they buy my soul- they can review it with a click of a button.
This is my offering to you, Jesus. For no other reason but you, no other glory but yours.
Nearly a year ago, as I began this journey one of my best friends spoke this to me- called me to this: (This is David talking to his son about the work that God has set apart for Solomon to do.)
Be strong and courageous, and do the work.
Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished. 1 Chron. 28:20
I keep feeling like he's forsaken me. I am alone- naked in a tree. But he is here with me, bumped up close to me as I do the work he has called me to that just feels hard.
Now God I pray- that these insignificant offerings would make Your name great. That You would be more known in this world because of simple words in brown boxes shipping tonight. Fall on them please.
I know we each have our work. I pray you will have courage for your work today. Do the work, be strong and courageous.