I know you only want to hear about Cooper... he is doing brilliantly. I have many stories to tell about a few dark moments but mostly all the ones that have mowed me over because I can't believe how much we all are in love. I promise I will, but I left for Africa a month ago with the news that a good little chunk of my book had to go. God keeps me humble, actually insecure. I am writing a book. Stuck is a study- before it I had written a lot of studies. But I've never written a book and it happens to be a lot longer than a blog entry. bummer.

So I have had to sneak away a little and work on it. In fact right now I am working on it but I thought I would take a break and tell you what is about.

I am writing a book about laying down our lives because of the gospel. It so happens that God would like for me to live the things I write about. note: best not to write books on dying to self, giving up your life, surrendering everything and so on.

I believe in the message of this book-  only because I've seen how completely surrendering has shifted everything inside of me, how much bigger I see God because of it. But I also know it's costly... surrender. It kind-of costs everything.... if you really actually do it.

So writing about surrender has been a surrender. As I have gone back to old blog entries I see, actually from about the day this blog started, God was leading me toward a life more surrendered. The night I started blogging was the night God had me smashed to my bathroom floor reading Katie's blog. Nothing has quite been the same since.

So I guess I write this to ask for prayer. It's not every day one writes a book. It's not everyday one asks people to lay down their whole lives to follow God. So it feels a little weighty on top of the obvious already weighty stuff, like a new son from Africa.

I am close to finishing. Thank you. Thankful for you.... I feel like it was here I processed life and God to even bring me to the point of writing this.

If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. Matthew 16:25

Freedom and healing hide in the backwards way God tells us to find life.

Die to live. Lose to find. Empty yourself to be filled.

Feeling a little crazy writing such backwards things that go against everything sane but I know in my gut they are more true than everything sane.

Jennie Allen7 Comments