Turning the Channel
Today my youngest and I were driving home from some mundane errand we had pursued. I was listening to a man on the radio tell me he needed me to sponsor a child in an unknown foreign country... my 136$ would give a child food, school, water and life for one year. (Recently, I considered spending about 136$ on Tivo so I wouldn't have to keep missing American Idol). And suddenly out of the blue- surprising even myself, I turned the channel.
I saw that my inner cup for sad things fills and overflows so quickly.
Before my mundane errand I had gotten a call and found out, to my surprise, we are in the midst of conflict with someone- that I did not even know about. I was heavy- I was full of self-pity. I felt misunderstood. I felt worried. I felt sad.
So when I inexplicably turned the channel, I felt like I wanted a channel turner for my life. I don't like the sad music, suffering children channel. I don't like the: I am trying my guts out here but "I am not measuring up" channel in my life. Let's listen to the "You ROCK" channel- where is that one again?
A good friend recently told me a very non-comforting thought- maybe God doesn't want you to measure up- maybe He wants you to fail. Problem.... I need to be Great! And even if I can't be great, I certainly need to be liked by...well...everyone!
But I am growing to understand this promise:
"My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I(Paul) will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 corinthians 12:9)
This blog will count on that promise being true. I will boast in my weakness and I will boast in my trials because through the sad/messy channels of my life- if I just won't turn them so quickly and so secretively Christ may be glorified (actually it says He will be glorified- but I am not awesome Bible writing Paul- so we will see.)